While I have been spending the past few weeks getting my head around the terminal diagnosis, the biggest challenge has been the feeling of not doing anything. Having spoken with a few contacts, I have come across a surgeon in London who apparently specialises in treating inoperable cases. Anyway, after speaking with Alice, she has arranged for me to be referred to him. We will meet this Friday at his clinic.
I am desperately trying to not pin too much hope on him being able to help. After all I am have already been told that given where the tumour is, it is too dangerous to operate. That’s said, you never know eh 😀.
A bout of ‘man flu’ knocked me around a bit recently, however other than that I am still feeling really strong. Running continues to be fairly tough as my breathing is now definitely been restricted by the tumour pushing on my airway….feels a bit like breathing through a straw. Can’t deny it’s very frustrating and also is a constant reminder that ‘it’s there’. I just about managed to get round the wokingham half marathon recently, although nothing to write home about time wise. Weather was lovely and it was fantastic to see Catherine and the boys handing out water to all us runners at the half way point (which goes right past home).
I am still in two minds about the London marathon. Undoubtedly it would mean a ‘run,walk,run’ event for me. I’ve always wanted to give every race I have entered my all and running the whole way is part of that. Sadly I think I have to accept that the days of being able to do that are over now. But heah that’s ok, I can deal with that as long as for the most part I am running.
I’ll give it another few weeks and then make a decision on whether I do or not…if not London, then certainly a major half marathon later in the year.
Catherine and I are continuing to book up lots of fun things to do in the diary with (and without sometimes!) the boys…lots and lots to look forward all part of ‘project memories’ 👍